I Took Pity on You
by IceCrystal2
Summary: When Morgan learns the truth her world will crumble. Lied to her entire life, punished for mislead actions, how will Morgan come to terms with what just came out of Igraine's mouth? How could five little words shatter so much...T for now, M probably later
1. Chapter 1

(AN: Forgot the Disclaimer for my last Camelot story so I hope this serves as both. I don't own anything to do with Camelot. I am intending to continue this one, though I am not sure whether to leave _Morgan's Guilt_ the way it is or not.)

"I took pity on you…" Igraine gasped out to Morgan's horror. 

"You're lying." She accused, feeling ice run through her veins as the woman gasped because of pain she had caused. Even as she accused the woman of lying to her Morgan had a sick feeling sink to the bottom of her stomach, knowing it was true. The woman had no reason to lie to her. Realizing she just killed the very woman that saved her life was a sobering fact. Her life had been full of misery, but at least she had lived. Looking down on Igraine as she cried in pain, Morgan realized she must have been lied to. She knew the nuns had never been completely honest with her, one reason she had left them in the middle of the night to begin with, but she had never expected this. Sybil had always told her it was Uther that sent her away, but if Igraine was telling the truth then she was the one who had lied. If Sybil had been the one lying to her, then Morgan had played into the woman's hands once again. Sybil had always been adamant about Morgan bringing the coven over once she was queen, but slowly Morgan began to realize just how far back that plan went. Sensing her mistake, Morgan took a ragged breath, causing Igraine to look up at her. Morgan caught her gaze, knowing she didn't know how to reverse what she had just done. Igraine was going to bleed to death and she didn't know how to stop it. Morgan did not care for the woman, but she had saved her life. Morgan had never considered this woman as more than Uthar's whore; even now it was hard to think of her in positive terms. But then her day, that one day, she had taken as Igraine flashed before her eyes quickly. The woman was kind to everyone else, maybe she should have thought this out more if only for that reason. She had gotten to know the people recently, her death wouldn't go over well even if a prisoner. Now it seemed all but too late as Igraine clung to the side of her bed, fixing Morgan with such a sad gaze that she decided to save the woman. But Sybil had always been the one to help her with all things magic. She had never been able to do anything Sybil didn't teach her, and she had never taught her white magic, only dark. The nunnery hadn't been a place for hopeful magic and the nuns had seen no use for spells you could not use against another person. Dropping the blade still in her grasp quickly, hearing it clatter to the floor beside the door, Morgan slid across the ground to the former queen. 

"Oh my god, Igraine what have I done? Why didn't you tell me you stupid woman!" Morgan half way yelled, not going to let the tears fall as she pressed her hands over Igraine's. Igraine's blood slipped through her fingers as if she had tried to grab water and it fell onto the knees of her gown unnoticed. With Morgan's sudden pressure on her wound, Igraine let out a cry of agony as she fell to her back on the floor. Taking a shaky breath, Igraine's eyes followed Morgan's every movement with slow understanding as the young woman tried to pack her wound with the nearby blanket, smearing blood on both the object and her bodice. 

"You wouldn't have listened." Igraine cried, in pain like she had not felt since child birth. Morgan looked up at her eyes again before she took a deep shaky breath.

"I cannot…I do not know how to fix this." Morgan admitted after seeing the faint glimmer of hope in the dying woman's eyes.

"Think a moment Morgan." Igraine pleaded, not knowing if she could be saved, not liking having to plead with Morgan but doing it anyway. Arthur's cold form crossed her vision, causing Igraine's resolve to life fade considerably. But then Merlin's disapproving glare replaced her dead son. There were others that relied on her, and she  
>couldn't give up no matter how she wished to join Arthur. Morgan had worn her face; maybe she knew more than she thought Igraine hoped. <p>

Morgan took a few deep breaths, trying desperately to rack her brain for any magic that would save the queens life. She knew none she realized with a frustrated cry. Sybil was the one to come up with magic in her life. Thinking of Sybil let Morgan's mind wander through several things she did not wish to think about at that moment before she realized what she needed to do; though she was still hesitant to do it. 

She had three options at that moment and Morgan didn't like any of them. Pushing harder on Igraine's stomach Morgan winced slightly from her thoughts though Igraine thought it was the gore. The easiest option was to allow Igraine to die as she had originally planned, but if she died Morgan knew she would regret it after finding out this kind of truth. Igraine could tell her things about Uther, things Morgan had always wanted to know, but had cast the childhood curiosity from her. Igraine was Arthur's mother, and she had no doubt that she would be punished by him when he learned of what she had done to the woman whether she lived or died. She was not naive enough to believe him as dead as reports claimed. She had just hoped to be crowned before he returned, possibly horribly disfigured at the very least. If Igraine died she would be one less person in her way, but Morgan wondered if she had every really been in her way since the woman did not have a close relationship with her son. 

The second option was to seek Sybil's help, but Morgan doubted the woman would assist her. It was not in Sybil's nature to be overly cruel, but Morgan knew first hand she would not do anything that would jeopardize her future plans. Morgan truly believed that Sybil cared for her, she just didn't know how much. Sybil had wanted to kill Igraine when Morgan had assumed her life, but wisdom had kept her alive. Morgan could not ask Sybil for help without seriously considering what would happen after, and she honestly did not, for once, know what would happen when she didn't let the woman die even though she had tried removing her. 

The third, and possibly the less desirable option was to seek out the help of the only other person she had met that knew magic; Merlin. Morgan didn't doubt Merlin would be able to save the former queen. He had saved Uther when she was a child, and he would have more invested this time. Though she thought if she ran for Merlin she would have to publicly release him since she knew where he would be. Most of her plan had involved Merlin and Igraine being out of the way, she doubted she could continue with the rest of her plan for the crown to be on her head in a few hours. She was so close, she could just let Igraine die and it would all be hers. Arthur was gone, for now or forever she didn't know, she was the rightful heir, but Merlin would see to it she never sat on her throne if she released him now.

"Do not move." Morgan commanded Igraine, who let out a sigh of pain when Morgan shifted her away. 

"Where are you going?" Igraine questioned frantically, not trusting Morgan at all for good reason. 

"I don't know how to fix this, but Merlin will." Morgan conceded, a tear falling from her eye for her weakness, as she all put flew out the door, her gown spattered in the former queen's blood. Morgan did not stop to console the worried cries of those she passed, but rather ignored them. Though it was harder than it seemed since everyone wanted to stop her and ask if she was alright. Some even called down the hall as she ran, she must have looked worse than she thought. 

"MOVE!" Morgan commanded when she found her way into the hall blocked by those that had come to watch her coronation, something she did not want to think about just then. Whipping her head around, thankful that Sybil was on the other side of the castle, she couldn't find Merlin for the crowd. She had ordered him chained in the room, so he was suppose to be here! Sending a silent prayer to whomever would listen, Morgan moved closer to the throne, a step higher than everyone else. It was then that she saw him, chained to a pillar to her left. He looked dejected, sad even, and a little thrill made its way down Morgan's spine vindictively for having gotten to him. Shaking it off Morgan took a shaky breath and stepped forward. Even as one of her guards attempted to catch her forearm, Morgan rushed over to Merlin without thinking about it anymore. Merlin's eyes widened at her approach, seeming to think something sinister from the change of expression on his face and Morgan nearly bowed her head in shame for having felt elated at his misery. But it would not do for the people to see her weakened with regret. 

"Release him." Morgan commanded, everyone freezing to look at her as if she had grown a second head. 

"I said release him!" She yelled, malicious intent clear in her tone. A scrawny looking man, who wore mismatched armor, naming him a Camelot guard, moved forward and unlocked Merlin's hands. The irons echoed against the stone as the hall watched the interaction in stunned silence. Merlin jerked the leather gag from his mouth and turned toward Morgan in the same breath. Morgan's guards moved to step in front of her, but Morgan knew she was on a time sensitive mission. She had stabbed Igraine so that she would die slowly, but at a certain point she doubted there would be anything they could do, after all Morgan had been told Uther had still died with Merlin by his side. 

"Come with me now." Morgan commanded Merlin in a hushed whisper, resisting the urge to roll her eyes when he did not move but glared at her. 

"Come with me now criminal!" She said, louder to catch the attention of the gathered crowd, trying to give him a meaningful glance though she worried it was little more than a glare of frustration. He was the one enamored with public opinion and she would use that to her advantage. 

"Where is Igraine?" He asked, still not moving. It seemed he would not be moved until he knew either, causing Morgan's breath to hitch only a moment before she grabbed his arm. Several of the guards around them unsheathed their swords as confusion clouded their expressions. Merlin moved to defend himself as Morgan moved, but stopped when she merely tightened her fingers around his sleeved elbow. Looking deep into Merlin's eyes, Morgan almost wished she could just tell him silently with her gaze. 

"Now." She said, yanking him forward as one of her guards prodded him from behind with a short sword. Though he had no choice but to comply Morgan felt a shiver go down her spine at his compliance. Not wasting any time however, Morgan all but dragged him across the great hall to the staircase. It seemed he decided to cooperate once his feet hit the last stair since her guards were calling for her desperately behind them. Morgan ignored them, dismissing them with a wave of her hand. Merlin's eyes widened, clearly unsettled by Morgan at that moment, but she continued to drag him behind her as she broke into a run. Skidding to a halt outside Igraine's doorway, the clattering of armored guards sounding behind them Morgan withdrew her hand from Merlin's sleeved elbow as if burnt. Throwing the door open without a word Morgan held it open for Merlin. From her vantage point Morgan made out Igraine, still gasping on her side where she had left her, but Merlin could not to her frustration. 

"What are you up to Morgan?" He growled, staring at her when he should have been moving further into the room where he would discover Igraine. Morgan matched his glare with her own, choosing the direct approach instead of words. Grabbing his elbow once again Morgan tugged for all she was worth, slipping from the door as he almost refused to move. The heavy wooden door hit Morgan from behind as Merlin finally took in Igraine, lying in a pool of her own blood. Shoving the door backward with a kick Morgan moved to intercept the unit of guards that had ignored her command. Merlin forgot all about her as he broke out of her grasp and slide to Igraine's side as she had done earlier. 

"Igraine?" He whispered desperately as he collected the woman into his arms gently. Morgan turned from the scene to glare at the Camelot guard she found before her. Moving forward so that the door slammed shut just behind her she let her desperation phase into anger as they questioned her. 

"My Lady Morgan, is everything alright?" The man, the same who had released Merlin, asked her and Morgan resisted the urge to light him on fire. 

"Leave. Everything is alright. I required Merlin's assistance. Nothing else would have seen me release the criminal. I assure you he is of no danger here, though if I need you I will call. Please stay here until then." Morgan gushed, trying desperately to play the concerned monarch even as the men gave her questioning looks. She was not Arthur, she did not possess the level of patience anyone had ever wanted her to. 

"But My Lady Morgan, Merlin is dangerous." One of her guards spoke up and she snapped her glare on him. One of her guards should know better she thought quickly. 

"I am capable of handling myself gentlemen, I will call should I require your assistance. I'm afraid that Lady Igraine is ill. Now excuse me." She ground out through clenched teeth. She cut off the Camelot guard's questions by making her way into Igraine's room in one swift movement, letting the door fall heavily to announce the end of the conversation and her entrance at the same time. Bringing her eyes to the scene in front of her Morgan almost wished she had stayed in the hallway as something in her cried in pain. She did not know what exactly hurt, but she just knew something did seeing them. Igraine lay in Merlin's arms, her fingers tracing the man's bloodied tears with a smile. Morgan did not know what the woman would be smiling at, but she stared at her a moment. Morgan looked away for a moment afterward, taking in the ivy covered window panes before she looked back at the pair, steeling her resolve. Merlin was shaking, and Morgan realized she knew that kind of shaking. It took four steps to join the pair and Morgan felt every move as if she was gliding across broken glass. Kneeling behind Igraine, the woman finally realized they were not alone when Merlin's eyes turned to her even as his mouth continued in a whispered chant. Igraine turned her eyes to Morgan heavily, her hand not moving from Merlin's cheek. Morgan met her questioning gaze, but she did not expect what came out of Igraine's mouth. 

"Stop him…he will kill himself…not for me…"the dying woman pleaded with Morgan, knocking the breath out of her. She saw the desperation in the woman's eyes, nothing else would have her beg from her murderer Morgan realized, but she was hesitant to stop Merlin. She didn't want Igraine to die either, but the woman's devotion to Merlin was heart breaking. The woman lay dying and she thought of only Merlin? She was not the same woman that stood by as Uther knocked her around it appeared. Tearing her eyes from Igraine's, blinking the tears back rapidly, she turned her gaze back to Merlin's. Blood leaked from his eyes, something Morgan was more familiar with than Igraine. Merlin was only halfway to death she realized, but Igraine would not know that. The overwhelming sense of weakness and pain that came after the blood tears was what Morgan had never wished to feel again, and she realized she had stared at Merlin for too long after a moment. Picking up her lifeless hands Morgan put them over Merlin's, causing his eyes to snap to her face even as hers traveled to his lips. Morgan tried to make out what he was saying, though it was hard as he chanted so fast and so low that she was reduced to reading his lips. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Sanguine…" Morgan started, glancing at his eyes meaningfully before they went back to his lips. She just couldn't make out the words he was saying to her frustration, and he did not seem to understand she couldn't help him without them. She pushed on his hands a little as she tried to get his attention so she could help him but it caused Igraine to gasp in pain from the pressure instead. Merlin it seemed was in some sort of trance and Morgan ground her teeth to stop from yelling at him which would attract the audience outside. Both of her hands slipped a little for the effort as Igraine's blood all but drowned their digits. She was losing too much blood Morgan realized as she felt a part of the skin beneath her ring finger sew itself together. She understood then that Merlin was attempting to stop her blood loss by closing the wound, but even as she thought that Morgan felt the tiny amount of flesh split again. Morgan realized Igraine must have gone numb on the surface of the wound from the blood loss or else she would be screaming. Morgan didn't know how to sow flesh anymore than she knew how to give Igraine back her blood, but a memory nagged at the back of her skull. Staring at the bloody mess of Igraine's abdomen instead of Merlin, Morgan took a deep breath and tried a different tactic. She had seen the nuns take blood during rituals; perhaps she could give it back if she did the opposite. The nuns had brought a woman back once, something Morgan wasn't supposed to know, for part of their rituals. They had preformed this ritual many times, but only one woman had ever survived it. Merlin it seemed knew what he was doing since he was the only thing keeping Igraine alive it seemed as all color had fled the woman.

The nuns had needed to take blood from the people they would change into, something Morgan hadn't to their jealousy. Watching a ritual dagger move across a screaming woman's flesh behind her eyes, Morgan played the memory. The blonde woman had been tied on the altar, bleeding from a massive stomach wound behind her blue gown that Mother Superior had inflicted like the one she had given Igraine. The nuns had then taken the dagger and cut shallow cuts on the woman's arms to draw life blood for the ritual. Morgan considered why they would need to do that for a moment like she never had. Maybe…Morgan thought distractedly watching the memory even as Merlin's eyes glared into her without her notice. Mother Superior had taken the woman's form and the other sisters had descended onto the bleeding woman. Morgan had watched from the cracked door, not being allowed to see this though she hadn't been caught. Mother Superior had walked up to the dying woman and…Morgan couldn't remember what they had done. Growling in frustration Morgan accidently pushed too hard on Igraine again. Closing her eyes Morgan latched onto the decades old memory as if her life depended on it before her head shot open.

Meeting Merlin's gaze in surprise a moment, Morgan then turned her eyes to the floor quickly. Spotting the dagger thanks to its glinting blade in the sunlight, Morgan removed her hands from Igraine drawing the woman's fading gaze. She may not have been able to sow Igraine's wound, but blood was something she could give the woman. Morgan suspected that was the only reason Merlin was failing in saving the woman. He was trying to replace the blood and heal the wound at the same time, for Igraine would die without both at once. Ignoring the bloody streak she left Morgan crawled to the blade and back over to Igraine. Turning the blade over in her right hand she hesitated, a sudden feeling coming over her. Morgan didn't know why she suddenly felt like she was forgetting something. She stared at the small curved blade that she had twisted in Igraine, turned her gaze to Igraine's bloody abdomen, looked at Merlin still mumbling, and then back to the blade before she realized what she needed to do. Biting her lip to stop the scream she knew would come; Morgan let the magic take over her body. She jerked against the bed frame behind her, hitting her head enough to see stars behind her already blurred vision. Her arms twitched of their own accord as they stretched. Her hand jerked behind her, the blade catching in the wood before Morgan took a labored breath as Igraine. Bending forward as she withheld the scream of pain from her abdomen, Morgan's forehead hit Merlin's hands a moment slick with Igraine's blood. Morgan bolted up after the pain subsided a little, running her hand to smear the blood across her forehead as she searched for her blade she turned to her task at hand. Yanking the blade from the wood harshly she was startled by the cold hand that found her cheek.

"You…have…my…face…" Igraine gasped out and Morgan leaned into the touch a second before she realized what she was doing. Pushing the hand away as gently as she felt she could, Morgan turned her eyes to her palm. She didn't pause as she ran the blade down through her flesh from her wrist to the end of her middle finger. She let out a small hiss, but Morgan welcomed the pain. The halfway deep cut dripped onto the floor rapidly before Morgan turned the blade on the real Igraine's forearm. She spared a glance at Merlin, halfway thinking he would stop her from cutting the woman again. Merlin, however, seemed to still be in his trance, chanting under his breath as Igraine's pale fingers still held onto his face. When Igraine didn't let out any sign that the gash Morgan created hurt worry crept into Morgan's face, a stark comparison to the real peaceful Igraine before her. Grasping the woman's arm, holding it up so as to allow the blood to flow as one expected a waterfall, Morgan covered every inch of the mark she'd made with her own wound. Narrowing her eyes as a few drops of her own blood rolled down Igraine's arm she pressed harder, almost sinking her hand into the woman's flesh. Holding still a few minutes Morgan heard Merlin's voice start to even out. Propping Igraine's arm on her knee, Morgan did not let go of her forearm, but she shifted to sit in a very unladylike way. With her knees spread apart Morgan balanced Igraine's limb as she transferred the blade in her right hand to her lips. Her left hand dug into Igraine as best she could get it, her little finger and thumb wrapping around the woman's small limb to keep itself anchored. Ignoring the metallic taste of blood from the blades surface Morgan used her tongue to rotate it as her other hand put pressure on the point she connected with Igraine. Morgan did not notice the color begin to return to Igraine's face as the woman's eyes followed her every move. She did not notice Merlin stop chanting either as she accidentally cut her tongue with a small curse.

"Hold her arm higher." She jumped, cutting the inside of her cheek and tongue again as Merlin spoke at a normal volume. Following his instructions so that Igraine's arm stood like a wall, Morgan looked up to his glare. Blood continued to leak from his eyes, but he was raising his hands from the pool of blood at Igraine's abdomen. Morgan leaned her head back out of reflex when his red fingers reached toward her. Hitting the bed frame she realized she had nowhere else to go even if he was going to strike her. To her surprise however Merlin just smeared blood onto her nose and mouth as he took the blade from her teeth. Letting out a stiff breath Morgan fidgeted once again, coming to her knees since her arm was twisted uncomfortably to supply Igraine with blood. She chanced a glance at the wound she'd created, but she could not see if Merlin had succeeded in closing it for all the blood. But her eyes were quickly diverted to Merlin as he leaned over Igraine to take her right hand from Igraine's arm, leaving her left bleeding into the woman. Without so much as a warning, Merlin brought the blade long ways across her wrist and Morgan bit her already bleeding lip from giving him the satisfaction of a curse. It seemed cutting her like that made her bleed more heavily she realized as he pried Igraine's fingers from his face to cut her left wrist, shallower then he had hers.

A small flicker of hope flashed into Morgan's heart as Igraine flinched in obvious pain from the gesture. Letting Merlin pull her torso over Igraine, Morgan followed his lead without question. Merlin laid her right wrist and Igraine's left together as best they would go before he stood. Both women watched him as he all put tore off the hinges of Igraine's wardrobe in anger. Igraine looked on worriedly as Morgan flinched, knowing he was refraining from doing the same to her because she was currently attached to Igraine. Merlin returned after some rummaging with a rather ugly shawl in Morgan's opinion, as well as one of Igraine's golden colored belts. Kneeling beside them, Morgan decided if she was going to be stuck like this for a while she was at least going to be comfortable. Ignoring Igraine's obvious question, Morgan threw her leg over the woman's hip, sitting directly on top of her. Morgan twisted her lower half no to be touching Igraine's recently closed wound, but she still managed to turn her gown completely crimson. Morgan closed her eyes, feeling herself become slightly exhausted already as she heard Merlin drag a writing desk over toward the women. Merlin then proceeded to tie their arms together as well as above them onto the desks legs. Once Merlin tightened the shawl for good measure, causing a burn on Morgan's exposed flesh; she finally sagged under the effort. Her arms ached already, not surprising considering that they were bent at the elbows so that her blood first flowed up her arm and then down from the spots where she connected with Igraine. The three inhabitants of the room spent the next hour in silence, each to absorb in themselves to speak until Igraine decided she could not take the silence another minute.

"Why?" Igraine questioned after a few minutes of trying to get Morgan and Merlin's attentions through squirming. Merlin had leaned against the far wall, but he looked up from his own exhaustion to pay attention to Morgan's answer. Morgan found she couldn't meet the woman's eyes, something both caused by emotional reasons and physical. However, when the former queen was greeted with silence as her answer she twisted under Morgan more exaggeratedly, un-expectantly causing a fierce pain to rip through her abdomen. Not able to curb the groan that left her lips Morgan sagged against the bindings.

"You should have told me." She ground out, not at all liking that the woman had chosen now to question her. Morgan felt weak, something she did not take lightly. She may have asked for this, but that did not mean she had to be nice about it. She had after all tried to kill the woman, she was her attempted murderer, and she would prefer to stay that way in Igraine's eyes. The woman below her seemed to be gaining her strength back with each passing moment, though Morgan wondered if it was from the blood or the magic coursing through her system.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" Igraine questioned, her fingers twitching as if she had forgotten she could not move her arms under Morgan's. Morgan growled, a painful act as her tongue disagreed with the motion after having been sliced on the tip earlier. Choosing not to answer Igraine again Morgan just leaned her forehead against the heavy wooden desk and closed her eyes. Morgan knew she shouldn't let herself fall asleep, but with each passing minute she felt more and more as if sleep would make everything go away.

"I asked you a question." Igraine commanded, bucking under Morgan again, jolting her awake as pain ripped through her once again.

"Will you stop doing that?" Morgan hissed, bending as best she could trying to alleviate the pain as blood leaked from her eyes.

"Then answer me Morgan." Igraine commanded again, and Morgan snickered despite her pain. It seemed the woman was going to remember her as her attempted murderer. Morgan felt a little reassured with that knowledge. She would hate for Igraine to try her brand of kindness on her after this…if there even was an after this. Morgan, who prided herself on her flexibility crudely, maneuvered her knees to push Igraine a little from under the desk and scoot herself closer to her left hand. Using her teeth Morgan didn't even spare a glance at Merlin before she begun to work on the knot holding her to Igraine. If the woman could question her motives after only a half hour then she would live and Morgan didn't feel like staying there any longer since she couldn't feel her arms. She bit the black fabric, ignoring her tongues protests again as she worked over the knot. She almost had it when Merlin's fingers danced before her eyes, stained red but no longer smearing blood where ever he touched as it had been wiped off and the rest dried. Morgan leaned back, the shawl still in her mouth as she pulled her left arm from Igraine's right with a series of pops from her shoulder. Not pausing in her movements, Morgan slid backward, throwing her left leg over her right, crashing into Merlin but not caring. Igraine laid still, probably afraid to move Morgan thought as she crawled up to the belt holding her wrist to Igraine's. With cold fingers she untied herself; Merlin stepping over her to kneel at Igraine's other side. Yanking her wrist back Morgan rolled onto her back with an exhausted sigh. She managed to tie the shawl around her right wrist and left hand using her teeth, but after completing that task Morgan dreaded what she knew was about to come. Too exhausted to hold back the scream Morgan felt her bones snap and her joints unhinge. She flailed on the ground, Merlin snapping Igraine up so as not to be hit after having healed the secondary wounds Morgan inflicted. It only lasted a moment, but Morgan swore as she curled herself into a ball and stayed there. Covered in blood and exhausted Morgan didn't even comprehend that Merlin and Igraine where both standing above her with all the power in the world to kill her before she fell unconscious from exhaustion.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin gazed down at Morgan with no set emotion. He could not figure out the woman, and he didn't know if he ever would be able to or should. Igraine clung to him, her traumas having played out for him as she bled to death in his arms. She had led a rather sheltered life before Uther to Merlin's relief. Morgan however was still a mystery. He assumed that whatever magic had kept him out when she had been Igraine once before was still working today. She had tried to stop Igraine's bleeding by putting her hands directly to his flesh and he had yet to see anything, which puzzled him to no end.

"Me…Merlin?" Igraine questioned, a sight covered in her own blood. She seemed pale, but Merlin would take pale over dead. Meeting the woman's gaze Merlin engulfed the former queen in his arms as she shook. Blood tears ran down his face as he finally let out a sigh of relief that was short lived as the door came crashing open. Igraine pulled away from him, startled but soon extremely overcome with tears of her own.

"Arthur!" she cried, swiftly moving to engulf the king in a hug despite their rocky relationship. It seemed they both had come back from the dead today to Merlin's extreme delight. Arthur let Igraine hug him as well, a sign that things were definitely upside down at the moment.

"What happened?" Arthur all but growled, clearly not believing his eyes at all the blood covering almost everything and Morgan's unconscious form on the floor at Merlin's feet. Merlin wondered a brief second if Arthur had jumped to the conclusion that he had murdered his half sister.

"Morgan…Morgan killed me." Igraine whispered, not quite believing the words as they came out of her mouth as Kay gave her a questioning gaze from behind Arthur. Merlin nodded absently, his eyes trailing over Morgan a moment more before he met Arthur's gaze head on.

"Morgan has been using sorcery to enter Camelot. Igraine and I attempted to arrest her; however we ended up becoming the prisoners." He smirked a little at the irony now that he was not tied to anything; he always seemed to end up tied to something when he dealt with Morgan he mused slightly before kneeling to check she was breathing.

"How did this happen then? I understand she was about to be crowned downstairs due to my death." Arthur growled, and Merlin found it both reassuring and unnerving that the king seemed to have finally seen Morgan for the woman he had always tried to convince him she was.

"She stabbed me." Igraine whispered, moving away from Arthur as she realized she was smearing blood all over him, her hand flew to the perfect hole in her gown.

"I asked her what had turned her into this. She said something about being sent away and I told her that it had actually been my choice to send her away. It hurt so much I wasn't really paying attention to the specific words, but she looked remorseful after that. She bolted out of here, the next thing I remember Merlin was there." Igraine sighed, sitting down on the lone chair in the room, clearly in shock. Arthur nodded his head grimly, turning his gaze to Merlin, the king a little unnerved by the blood leaking from his eyes, but if it didn't bother then man he wasn't going to draw attention to it. Gawain and Kay moved further into the room, having been holding the door open. The crashing noise it made upon closing caused Igraine to jump. Merlin looked up, having determined Morgan was alive, but he took a second to consider just what had happened himself.

"Morgan came to me, brought me here to heal Igraine. But her wound was designed to kill her slowly by blood loss. By the time I arrived, Igraine was beyond my help. I was still going to try. I couldn't replace the blood she had lost, was losing." Merlin trailed off a minute, blinking the all too recent dying woman's image from his mind. "Morgan was able to replace the blood she had lost, letting me focus on healing just her wound. Morgan saved her life." Merlin admitted, the words tasting like vinegar, but being the truth. No one moved for a long moment as Igraine started to silently cry. Merlin's eyes raked over Morgan's face for any sign of what had changed her so suddenly. Arthur took them all in, having trouble seeing past all the blood after what he had done that day himself, but he finally sighed as his shoulders slumped a little. Kay moved to comfort Igraine, but it seemed even he didn't have the right words as he just kind of settled for holding the sitting woman awkwardly.

"Morgan tried to have me murdered at Bydon Pass. She sent the attack." Arthur told Merlin, moving to kneel beside him, placing a hand on the older man's shoulders. Not surprised Merlin simply gave him a small knowing smirk in return.

"Complicated woman." Gawain's voice broke the silence soon after, gaining agreement from all the rooms other occupants.

"We need to see what damage Morgan has done in our absence. Are you up to handling this Merlin?" Arthur asked, really not wanting to leave but knowing he was needed elsewhere. Merlin gave him a fake look of annoyance at the question but nodded his head anyway. They both knew it would be up to Arthur to determine what happened next, but the sorcerer could at least see that Igraine was looked after and put Morgan in a safe place. Gawain followed the king, Kay staying behind with a meaningful look from his brother. Whether Arthur wanted to admit it or not, both brothers knew Igraine meant the world to him.

"Are you okay to stay here Igraine?" Merlin asked turning his gaze as the door crashed behind the boy king. Igraine looked over toward him, still perched above Morgan.

"Yes, I will be fine now I believe." She sagged against the desk, Kay already starting to prepare the cleaning effort by retrieving Igraine's wash basin. Merlin sighed as he scooped up the unconscious woman into his arms with a grunt of effort. He knew he had a little while before he would be seriously hurting, but he needed to put Morgan somewhere she couldn't escape while he was vulnerable in another part of the castle. She was anything but light even in her sleep, but Merlin didn't acknowledge that as he moved toward the door.

"Tell Arthur I locked her in the far most bedroom." Merlin told both of the remaining occupants, though more to Kay as he nodded. Igraine's eyes watched him leave, slight panic in the back of her gaze but Merlin continued on. Igraine was a strong woman and he didn't think he could do anything more for her at that moment. He was too worried about what exactly was going on with the woman in his arms right then. It was a blessing he did not run into anyone, as he moved Morgan. However he realized it was actually Arthur's doing as he addressed his people, captivating their attention as he led them to Merlin's pride. Merlin wished he could stay in ear shot of the young man's speech, but he didn't know how long Morgan would continue to sleep. He knew she would pay the same price he would, but he knew she would live. The magic they had used had not been enough to kill either of them. He might have headed for that path if she hadn't intervened, but Merlin did not want to think about that. He would rather believe he could have saved Igraine on his own. Opening the heavy wooden door, the trend in Camelot castle, with his foot and back Merlin carried the unconscious woman to the bed that had been set up just before he had left for someone yet determined. Depositing the woman onto the lone furniture, a four poster bed that had been left over in the castle, he decided to wash the blood from himself before retreating.

Merlin half expected Morgan to awaken as he removed the blood from his form, a witty remark on her lips, but the woman remained silent. Though it was a refreshing change, Merlin knew he could not let his eyes wander over her as they had been unconsciously doing during his incarceration. He shook his head; forcibly removing the thoughts of his last night with what he had thought was Igraine. Leaving the room Merlin decided he wasn't going to take any chances of Morgan escaping. Instead he ran his hand over the door knob of this room after he had left. Muttering a spell he had long since used Merlin barred entrance to this room. No one would be getting into this room, and more importantly no one would be getting out. Merlin doubted Morgan knew how to use her magic enough to get out any way. She hadn't been able to heal Igraine after all, and that was simplistic magic though it was physically taxing and had been way to slow that night. With a sigh Merlin by passed the sounds of cheers from the great hallway, headed for his personal sanctuary for when the pains would hit soon. He imagined he would only hurt a little while this time, a small price to pay Merlin thought as he slipped away.

Morgan groaned as she rolled over. The first thing she noticed was that it was night as her eyes could see very little, but there was enough moon light to require her eyes a second to adjust. The second thing she knew was that she was in an unfamiliar place, generally not a good occurrence in her life. It took a moment before she could blink the sleep from her eyes, but she knew she was alone where ever she was thankfully before it all came back to her with a sudden pain in her side. It seemed that had been what had woken her. Letting out a shallow breath in pain she sat up from the bed she was currently laying on. Suddenly feeling as if her gown was chocking her Morgan coughed but didn't let the feeling over take her. Her body ached, but she knew this was coming, but somehow she didn't think it was that bad. She had definitely felt worse she decided as she realized what was occurring. She was paying the price for saving Igraine, but she realized with dread she had yet to actually pay that price fully. She should have known that when she released Merlin that she would be giving up control, but she definitely knew now. Sybil and Vivian would not have moved her to an unfamiliar place no matter the circumstance. Wondering where the women were Morgan forced herself to her feet. Her body ached, but she slowly walked over to the door. Trying the handle it seemed it was not going to move. Confusion set in as Morgan tried again several times to physically move the handle, even lift the unmoving metal, but it seemed in vain. With a cry of outrage, Morgan slowly realized what must have happened. Merlin had imprisoned her magically. Anger coursed through her and she clenched her fists and resisted the urge to scream.

It was several long hours of solitude before the door creaked. In that time, Morgan had grown very morbid. She did not see any way out of her execution. She had unwittingly given Merlin everything he needed to kill her now. Sybil and Vivian would be at the mercy of the people. Sybil would survive; she always did, if for no other reason that she was supposed to be a woman of faith. Vivian might survive without her, Morgan had realized, but she would be forced back into the life of servitude she had once had with no say in her own existence. Over the hours, their lives had become what Morgan chose to focus on since she could not bring herself to care if she died. She had made a foolish decision to save Igraine in that split second and she knew, even believed she'd known the second she made the decision to get Merlin that she would never get the crown she wanted. Even with Arthur dead, Morgan realized that the people would never believe her over Igraine. They all loved Igraine to much for that. Igraine would tell them what had happened and Morgan wouldn't survive it she was sure. She did not cling to any hope that the woman would spare her as she had done. The best logic, logic she was sure Merlin would share, was to kill her now.

"I see you are finally awake." The voice startled her from her long gaze out the window as her sense of dread reignited.

"Arthur." She responded, not trusting herself to say anything more. His very tone told her all she needed to know. He knew. He knew everything probably, she mused, still refusing to turn from the window. She suppressed the need to turn around and take him in. She had thought him dead and surprisingly she did not feel anything at the knowledge that he was alive. Not relief, pain, or even guilt. It seemed he had expected her to say something else since silence filled the room for several long moments before he spoke.

"Was it all for the crown Morgan?" He practically growled, "Was it worth killing your only family? Was it worth losing everything you ever had?" He hissed when Morgan didn't show even the slightest bit of outward attention to him. She was determined not to show that kind of weakness ever, least of all to Arthur. She'd learned a long time ago that indifference was far better than weakness or caring.

"You assume I had something to lose Arthur." Morgan finally appeased him, hoping he would just leave her to herself before he executed her, but it seemed she wouldn't get that small mercy.

"We all have something to lose Morgan. For you it is your life, your name." He growled again, seeming to expect Morgan to cry or beg to her scoff. Morgan had long since died. She'd died at the hands of Uther, at the hands of the nuns, at the hands of him, but he was just a boy she realized. Never was his innocence proven to her more blatantly than at that moment. He thought her life meant something to her. Her name didn't even mean all it had to her at one point. Pendragon had been the name of her torturers. That name had only ever brought her pain. Why did Arthur think it mattered to her anymore she didn't know. She had never felt calmer in fact as Arthur threatened her. Her heart did however skip a beat when Merlin, who she had not even known was there, spoke for the first time.

"I told him to kill you as I'm sure you have guessed, but I am over ruled." His voice smooth and unwavering to Morgan's ears did nothing to stress what was to come. That little bit of dread that had come back upon Arthur's entrance then began to root itself in the pit of her stomach. She had no idea what that meant, but she was sure she was going to wish they had killed her after they finally told her. It seemed then that Arthur was expecting her to ask she realized when the room fell silent again. Recognizing the power play for what it was Morgan suppressed her morbid curiosity. Instead she watched as a crow circled the courtyard below, torches lighting the way for no one but the night watch.

"Do you even care what happens to you?" Arthur asked, his voice dropping a bit and Morgan almost rolled her eyes at the clear agitation and grief in his question. He still cared about her she realized. She wanted to smack the boy upside the head until he begged her to stop then. She had tried to kill him for crying out loud and he still wanted her affection? She had been like that once and it cost her heavily to learn that the world wasn't full of roses as he seemed to believe. It was then that Morgan finally felt a little guilty for trying to kill him, but she realized she just never wanted to be the cause of someone's gullibility. She wished Arthur didn't care for her, because she had long stopped believing she could truly care for another person as he wanted. The last person she had ever felt genuine care for, loved unconditionally, had been Uther. That thought jolted her out of her thoughts as if burnt, but she did little more than blink. She blinked several times, choosing to focus on a tiny black shape moving below that she assumed was the night watch. The silence was actually a little comforting to Morgan, even as the pair behind her were trying to burn her with their eyes. It seemed Arthur didn't have the attention span that she and Merlin did then to her small smirk before she grew even paler.

"I'm tired of the games Morgan. You are going to stay where I can keep an eye on you. You are never going to leave Camelot again. I am taking castle Pendragon; it will be run by those I see fit. You are going to be here forever, you might as well get used to being alone." He told her and Morgan realized just what he intended to do. She would forever be his prisoner in the one place that taunted her forever. She really would prefer to die she realized. Morgan felt the tears begin to prick at her eyes, but her anger pushed them back, he thought he could just order her to stay and she would, she only allowed one tear to cascade down her cheek without a single noise or movement from her. She felt a retort burning at the back of her throat, but she did not trust herself to open her mouth in fear that it might be a sob instead. When she didn't say anything Arthur jerked open the door violently, but he paused. Morgan noticed, but she was having too much trouble keeping herself together to notice why. She jerked her head away from the window and to her right when Merlin made it to her right side. She would fall apart if she looked at him, she was sure. And it was only those determinations that keep her from turning his way even as she felt the painful prick on her arm. Morgan did not move to acknowledge the needle Merlin had just stuck her with, not caring what he would do with her blood. She knew several very evil things to do with a person's blood and she almost wished he would use them on her. The nuns had used them on her, the only thing stopping her from fully wishing for the pain. Maybe they would kill her this time around with Merlin casting she thought briefly. She couldn't help it then, she looked at him. She found him moving away from her, but there was something in his eyes that Morgan couldn't help staring at him even as he made his way to Arthur and the door slammed shut behind them.

((A/N Thank you to all my reviewers. It means a lot to me that people like my work and tell me their thoughts. 3 Icecrystal))


	4. Chapter 4

It was not long after affairs had been settled that everyone decided to finally retire for the evening. It seemed everyone in Camelot was exhausted by the eerie calm that settled. However, Merlin could not stop himself from being the only soul not asleep. He knew he desperately needed to sleep, but every time he would roll over his eyes betrayed him. He had set that needle on his bedside table and now it was mocking him. With a groan of acceptance Merlin rose to throw another log onto his dying fire. Stoking the flames until they warmed his hands pleasantly Merlin turned to collect a glass jar. Boiling water in front of him, Merlin picked up Morgan's blood with a moment of hesitation. He could not help but see flashes of Morgan in their more meaningful meetings. He saw the time she warned them, the memories he'd gained before she'd pulled away. The time she had drugged him and that confident smirk she'd had as he realized what she had done. When she'd been Igraine…No, Merlin clamped that thought off swiftly with a shake of his head. With no more hesitation Merlin dropped the needle into the boiling water. He smirked, realizing he half expected it to explode on impact; however nothing outwardly significant occurred save the changing of the waters tint. Carefully extracting the jar from the fire Merlin sighed. Retrieving a spoon from a nearby table he raised a sample to his lips. Closing his eyes Merlin braced himself for Morgan's greatest desire.

At first Merlin only saw black, but he knew to wait for what he was seeking. Magic was sometimes slow but reliable. It was almost a full minute before Merlin contemplated taking another sip. It was another minute before dread started forming in the pit of his stomach. To think that Morgan may not have any desires, even small ones was mind altering. However, just as Merlin decided to open his eyes, he saw it. He could not make out what he was being shown for a blinding white light, but he endured until it faded to beautiful shades of blue sky. He heard the distant chirping of an unidentifiable bird in the background. The smell of flowers assaulted his nose, but it was not overpowering. It took him a moment to focus on the image in front of him. He glanced around for Morgan, but he did not see her immediately. Though he eventually saw her across the field from where he stood.

It was hard to focus on what she was doing or wearing, but Merlin resisted the push he received for prying deeper. It was a hard fought battle, but Merlin finally managed to zoom his vision in on Morgan's figure. It seemed she was sitting on the only barren patch in the field. She wore a plain deep velvet blood red gown the fell at the base of her ankles with sleeves that flowed to her wrists, her hair laid upon her shoulders in a fashion Merlin had never seen on her. But she was not alone, there were several shadowy figures surrounding her. Little more than whispers of a form, each seemed to be trying to engulf her in the shadowy make up of their existence. Merlin recognized several of the faces that briefly filtered on each wraith sneering at the young woman, among them were Uther and the nun he'd known was bad news, Sybil. They seemed to be whispering in her ear from all directions. Uther however seemed the closest entity to her as he continued his advance though the other truly frightening creatures were not far behind him. Merlin was only left questioning his intentions upon the drinking Morgan's blood water. He was trying to see her greatest desire he had thought, but this scene, despite its pleasant setting was anything but happy. But then Merlin gained a little flicker of hope as he heard the galloping of horses get closer.

"Get away from my sister!" He watched Arthur yell, brandishing Excalibur to land with a rainbow of sparks upon Uther's axe. Fighting soon erupted all around Morgan as faces Merlin recognized, such as Gawain, Leontes, Kay, and even Guinevere battled the evil entities. He watched as Igraine's image shot a glimmering arrow of sparkling light through the image of Sybil's face. He watched silently as Excalibur sliced a piece of Uther's arm away in wisps only for it to reappear brandishing a truly demonic looking dagger. It seemed the fighting would not end, even as Morgan began to stand up. An overwhelming sense of sadness consumed Merlin as he tried not to but still concluded that Morgan truly desired the chaos she created. However then, on the fringe of Merlin's sight he saw a brilliant ball of light. It seemed to burn the flowers around it on its path to Morgan, making it appear yet another sinister being in this demented fantasy. It seemed as if it meant to engulf her before it stopped abruptly, ceasing the fighting as it divided the two forces. Merlin watched as half the vision before him grew dark, the refuge of the shadow images. Uther and Sybil each placed a hand on each of Morgan's shoulders as she took a step back toward the shadows with them, her face betraying every emotion of fear she felt.

"Come child, it will only hurt you. The light has burnt you once already." Sybil whispered, sneering at Igraine over the fire ball.

"You were not meant for anything but the dark child. It is all you know, do not turn your back on it or you will be sorry." Uther growled into her other ear. Merlin watched confused as Morgan took another step with them to the dark. Did she truly want to be evil Merlin wondered once again. It seemed everything about this desire was sinister, but Morgan spoke for the first time.

"But I want to know what it truly feels like." She whispered, her fingers reaching for the fire as Uther and Sybil tried to convince her not to reach for the fire through shrill and ear splitting objections. Morgan, despite the influence, stepped forward toward the fire dividing her from Arthur and Camelot which sprung up behind him. Closing her eyes Merlin watched as Morgan's fingers slide through the fire unscathed, causing a brilliant wave of light to sweep out the screaming wraiths of the shadows. Merlin watched as the fire grew arms, embracing Morgan in dangerous looking heat, but she just smiled.

"I love you to." She whispered, her head finding a spot to rest upon the fire that seemed solid but did not look it.

Snapping his eyes open quickly Merlin groaned. He hated it when magic became a riddle. He was far to experienced with the maze like knowledge that came from magic, but in his exhausted state he wished for a simple answer, just this once! However, Merlin just grunted to his feet to secure the fire so as not to burn himself alive. That had been his least favorite of his near death experiences and he was not planning on relieving that again for anything. Watching the flames lick at the wood before him, Merlin played Morgan's desire in his mind, as he knew he would be doing for the rest of the day at least. He was not sure how to take this information, this vision. Morgan however, did.

Alone in her prison Morgan bolted up in her bed gasping for air in a deep sweat. She'd had that dream before, it usually occurred when she was somewhere other than her bed at Castle Pendragon. Uther and Sybil were trying to get her to stay with them; Arthur would be trying to kill them. And then he would come. Morgan was not aware who the fiery ball of energy was, but all she knew was that she desperately wanted to touch him…to love him. Shaking her weakness away Morgan scoffed at herself. Throwing herself back upon her bed with a small groan as the wood shook she attempted to blink the dream from her vision. It appeared in her dreamy state she had missed the crowing of the rooster, not that Morgan minded. She wondered briefly if she would have any early morning visitors, but she highly doubted it. Trusting that Arthur and Merlin would soon forget her, let her lull them into a sense of false security, Morgan lugged herself out of bed to what was now her dressing table. It seemed this room had belonged to someone else apparently when they had decided to put her in here. Whomever it was had at least left water in the basin for which Morgan was grateful. Blood and grim slipped from her after some severe scrubbing. It was then that Morgan went in search of a new gown. Throwing open the wardrobe Morgan grimaced. Of course all the gowns would be ugly. It wasn't actually hard to please Morgan's sense of style after having lived in a nuns habit since childhood, but Morgan did not appreciate the overly bright colors presented before her.

Hoping to find something in the back of the wardrobe, the only furniture left after the dressing table and bed, Morgan nearly fell into the wooden box. Finally managing to push the wardrobe's entire contents to the other side she finally found something she could potentially wear. The irony caused a small smirk to form on her face as she took in the dress that could have been a potato sack in another life. It was fit for a prisoner, Morgan thought as she threw off her own gown. A cold breeze wracked her frame as she pulled the dress out of the wardrobe. Slipping in on over her head, Morgan appreciated that it at least fit. The sleeves were slightly itchy, but Morgan didn't care. The hem however was going to be a problem. It seemed whatever woman had owned this was three inches taller than Morgan. Reaching down, not caring at all, Morgan ripped the offending hem off with skilled ease and a smirk of accomplishment. Rolling the ripped fabric in her hands Morgan took in her own gown upon her bed. Normally she would have called it beyond repair, but with nothing else to occupy her time she decided to try to wash it. Using the hem in her hand as a rag Morgan sat down on her bed after pulling the dressing table next to her. Morgan set to work with a single mindedness that blocked everything else out of her conscious. She did not notice the commotion below in the courtyard as Igraine, Guinevere, and Leontes set out for her home. She did not in fact look up until Merlin stood before her.

"Morgan?" He coaxed, having stood before her for several minutes without any response. Even then the only thing she was willing to do was to lower her blood stained hands in favor of listening to whatever he had to say. Morgan refused to look up at him as a wave of anger hit her. He was imprisoning her; couldn't he at least leave her to salvage the one gown she owned? It appeared not.

"Leontes and Guinevere are taking over Castle Pendragon. They will send anything you will need. Igraine will return with your possessions in a week's time." Merlin informed her, watching as her knuckles tightened in anger. Merlin's mind flickered through the images of Morgan it had endured over the years before he blinked them away with a sigh. This was not simply a visit to tell her about the arrangements that had been made for her belongings. It had taken him all day, but he had finally tracked down the rune he needed to ensure Morgan remained in Camelot. When Arthur had first mentioned he would just keep Morgan in Camelot forever Merlin had known he would not succeed without this particular rune. The boy had said this in jest the first time, but Merlin had seriously considered the possibility before her trip into Camelot as Igraine. He'd had plenty of time to track down the forgotten rune and plan alternate strategies during his seclusion after Excalibur. With a sigh Merlin reached down quickly and grasped Morgan's arm. He met her eyes are her head jerked up, as she was clearly ready to attack him on a seconds notice. Merlin made sure to move slowly, but betray that he wouldn't hesitate to hurt her if she moved through his gaze. He could almost see those shadowy figures that had haunted him all day in her gaze, but he pressed on. Tearing off the sleeve of Morgan's gown Merlin tossed it across the room without caring.

"If you wished my clothes off Merlin, perhaps you should consider asking first. I happen to know you are very skilled and I do enjoy my own fun." Morgan taunted him, trying to unsettle him by throwing their night together in his face. Merlin almost growled at her, but he forced himself to remain neutral as he brought the charcoal in his hand up to her skin. Morgan tensed visibly and tried to take a step backward, but she ended up tripping backward onto her bed, Merlin on top of her.

"Do not move." Merlin commanded, Morgan glaring at him as his weight held her in place, his legs on either side of her as he sat up.

"Or what? You'll kill me?" Morgan challenged angrily, knowing whatever he meant to do was to ensure she remain in the hell they had placed her.

"I do not want to hurt you, but if you leave me no other choice…" Merlin let the sentence linger, fighting the urge to sigh as she held nothing but loathing for him evident. Merlin knew placing this rune upon her skin would let him keep taps on her for the rest of her life, but if Arthur hadn't insisted once Merlin brought it up he never would be doing this, or so he wanted to tell himself. He'd used this to keep tabs on his family and while the memory hurt it was as if a sirens call telling him to connect himself to Morgan. The warmth that came with the presence of another person was something he could only distantly remember.

"You can't hurt me Merlin; you aren't man enough for that. Come on, go ahead." Morgan growled, bucking her hips beneath him attempting to topple him, but failing miserably. Merlin did not rise to the bait, but he instead brought the charcoal down on Morgan's skin, trying to make what would become a permanent mark as small as possible. Morgan ceased her movement; instead she chose to watch his every move. This kind of torture she knew how to handle. A man's sexuality was always their downfall. It was actually a little bit of a relief to finally have some form of actual torture come from her captors. She could handle anything they threw at her, she was determined to handle anything they thought up, but she was not prepared for the burning sensation that spread through her upper arm and shoulder. It seemed she had misread Merlin's intentions. Morgan bit her lip to stop from crying out as she set her jaw against the pain. Clenching her eyes shut she missed the remorseful and sad look Merlin gave her as he shifted his weight off her. Morgan did not noticed however as the burning continued.

"It will stop in a minute." Merlin tried coaxing her for lack of a better thing to do. He felt like he had become one of those entities torturing her now and it was an awful feeling that spread throughout his entire being seeing her desperately trying not to cry out as she was branded. Merlin tried to remind himself that this was the same woman that almost killed Igraine, that ordered the death of Arthur, that took him prisoner, but all he saw was a fierce and stubborn woman who refused to give in. The warmth of her presence that spread through the magic that now linked them did not help either.

"What did you just do to me?" Morgan growled up at Merlin, finally opening her eyes, but refusing to acknowledge the guilt in his gaze.

"This allows me to know where you are, day or night; I will always know where you are…always." He empathized. Morgan glared, sitting up slowly shrinking away from Merlin's offered hand, which he fully expected.

"I'm free to leave then?" Morgan scoffed as she slide to the furthest end of the bed from him, but surprisingly met his gaze. Morgan flinched a second as her shoulder hit the wall behind the bed frame, but the sheer warmth that was now flooding through her was distracting. The pain had faded into the feeling as if she had lingered to long by a roaring blaze and as best she could figure it was coming from Merlin. Rubbing her upper arm hesitantly when he didn't say anything, just watching her every move it seemed, Morgan felt the slightly raised edges of the magically mark. It was a circle, with what felt like a triangle in the middle, and a small dot in the very center. Morgan withdrew her fingers sharply as a flash of heat swept through her with the simple gesture.

"The sensitivity will fade with time, and yes. You may not leave Camelot, but you can now traverse the grounds. You will not require an escort either. Arthur and I have taken care of any lingering…acquaintances of yours in the vicinity." Merlin grinned despite himself. He and Arthur had been tracking down the nun and her handmaid all day, as well as weeding out anyone loyal to Morgan.

"What did you do to Vivian?" Morgan asked, unable to fight the curiosity though she continued to clutch her arm.

"She wasn't very happy with that nun of yours. She actually found us." Merlin chuckled, he'd seen so much of Morgan in Vivian when the woman had stood at the end of Excalibur and not even blinked. Merlin watched Morgan for any reaction to that news, but he assumed she was still keeping quiet from her ordeal. Locating was a rush, a rush that had Morgan letting down her guard a little apparently as she asked Merlin for more information instead of waiting for it to be divulged.

"She gave up your nun. We sent her home with Leontes. She will come to no harm." Merlin assured Morgan, even though the woman sneered disbelievingly though Merlin couldn't blame her.

"Am I to take your word on that?" Morgan growled, halfway indicating her still glowing arm.

"Oh come now Morgan, I am not the enemy." Merlin teased, unable to help himself, which enticed a crooked smile from Morgan despite herself.

"Let me guess, you tried all day! Searched everywhere, even where Vivian told you, and you still couldn't find Sybil." Morgan teased back, knowing she was correct as she rested her head on the wall behind her, her crooked smile never faltering as Merlin chuckled.

"Arthur doesn't relish the thought of killing a nun anyway." He shrugged, despite feeling a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach that she easily knew they had not apprehended the nun. She was wrong however, they had found her exactly where Vivian had told them, but Leontes had been guarding the door. The nun had been out the entrance before Merlin could finish his shout at Leontes that she wasn't what she seemed. Though a giant irritant to be sure, Merlin still resisted the urge to berate the man for his faith which had cost them a truly evil force working against Camelot. The man believed in something, and no matter what Merlin would not take that away.

"It's not good sense to doze off in the presence of the enemy Merlin." Morgan jarred his attention back onto her. It seemed Morgan had been contemplating him the entire time he contemplated the day's events.

"Well, seeing as how you've had so many chances, what's one more?" He chuckled, standing from Morgan's bed. Making his way to the door, Merlin turned before shutting the door. He stood there longer than necessary, Morgan watching him intently from the corner of her bed, ever unmoving.

"I'm sorry for that." Merlin nodded his head to where Morgan still held her arm, "But this is where you belong Morgan." He finished, obviously seeing something she could not before he shut the door. Morgan noticed there were no clicks absently, signaling she really could leave if she felt like it.

(A/N Read and Review please. I have the hardest time writing Igraine, so I decided to have her move for a little while lol. Let me know what you think 3)


	5. Chapter 5

But for some reason the thought of leaving the room did not please her. As Merlin left, so did the burning sensation that had spread through her opening way for her own sense again. Her own fear came back first apparently she thought bitterly. Left to her own devices it seemed her mind would be the one to betray her.

What would she even do now? She thought. Morgan could leave this room…but where would she go in Camelot? And looking like she did she didn't doubt what people would think of her. People who were easily swayed from one thought pattern to another, when their own fortunes were threatened by some force they couldn't control. Morgan sighed now that no one was around to hear it. Rubbing her new tattoo absently, aware that there was no pain from the gesture despite what she thought, she stood up. She fought the urge to seek out a mirror to see her newest addition. Instead deciding to stay put, Morgan took up the project she had started. She gave a hollow smirk when she thought about Arthur's reaction to her not leaving this room. It would certainly throw a small curve in his plan. Any inconvenience was going to be her new mission, she was sure she could cause quite the trouble from within the walls of Camelot.

But it was that thought that struck the smile from Morgan's face. Why? Why should she cause any more trouble for Arthur? She thought as her mind turned on her. She wouldn't be queen. Not after she had saved Igraine and disgraced herself so thoroughly in front of the people of Camelot. But if she wasn't going to be queen, what was she going to be? She thought she would die in her pursuit of the crown. Morgan thought long and hard on what she should do then as her hands worked over blood stained fabric absently. The sun faded behind her, but Morgan remained dead to the world. She had never had cause to pause and think about what she wanted to be, should be. She didn't acknowledge when a young woman came in to place a tray of food beside her timidly. It seemed no answers would come to Morgan as she continued scrubbing as only more questions arose in her mind. Why was she even seeking the crown? Why did Merlin always say she belonged here? Crickets chirped in the cool night air below her but still Morgan scrubbed. She did not notice when the water began to stain her gown more instead of aid in the removal of blood. She did not even notice when her hands began to grow raw from the repetitive motion. Her make shift wound coverings grew soaked, but still she did not notice. Her whole world flashed behind her eyes, every word Sybil had said in encouragement. Every drop of blood that she had shed on Uther's ring. Nothing made any sense anymore. She had never been without someone telling her what the right direction in her life was save for those brief weeks before Sybil had arrived from the nunnery. Even then she'd had Mother Superior's spirit wolf. Why was she even thinking like this? Did any of it even matter anymore?

Morgan heard the same young woman from before open the door again, but she just couldn't meet the woman's eyes. She didn't even know the woman, a fact that haunted Morgan. She had roamed these halls, basking in the inhabitants love as Igraine not long ago, but now this castle held nothing but cold facts. She was alone. She could never leave Camelot again or Merlin would know. She had no skills that would help her break such a powerful spell. She knew no friendly face here and she didn't think that was going to change anytime soon. She was going to die lonely, in this room, without anyone. That thought stalled her tired hands. She had finally found her deepest fear about her current situation. She was alone. Arthur knew more about torture then she ever would she surmised sarcastically.

Finally looking up to an empty room Morgan felt her neck groan in objection. The moon, alone it seemed would see her end. But then Morgan realized why she had looked up. A crow sat on the sill of her window. Morgan's breath caught in her throat at the sight. She was not naïve enough to believe it was simply a bird trying to find a place to land for a rest. It had been a very long time since she had seen this particular bird. Rising slowly, half way afraid of what the beast would look like up close, Morgan took three hesitant steps to the bird. The winged spirit did not so much as ruffle its midnight feathers at her approach. Morgan suppressed the shiver the predator's red eyes caused in her spine when they locked gazes.

"Sybil." Morgan whispered half in fright and half so that Merlin would not be able to hear. Her answer came in the form of an ear spitting caw that made Morgan flinch. Morgan did not possess the beast magic the nuns had despite all they had tried to teach her, but she understood that well enough.

"I have no answers Sybil. I don't know what came over me." Morgan whispered back, knowing that if she showed any evidence of the day's thoughts that she would regret it with this woman. Morgan had learned long ago that if she showed even the slightest weakness to Sybil that it would be exploited. The woman still played on Morgan's insecurities about her mother to that day. Sybil's piercing eyes seemed to search the truth from Morgan's very soul, but to her credit she did not move. Morgan was nothing if not stubborn. After what seemed a lifetime, Sybil extended her talon toward Morgan forcing the woman to break eye contact. Morgan untied to note attached with utmost care, the back of her mind scared of being slashed by Sybil. As soon as the note left Sybil's leg she startled Morgan by unfolding her intimidating wing span and exiting through the window in a single breath. Morgan watched her soar over Camelot by the moon light before she unrolled the letter in her hand with a sense of dread in her stomach that she could not place. She should feel elated that Sybil had not forsaken her after what she had done, but all she seemed to be able to feel that day was fear.

Morgan,

You stupid girl! After all our hard work, how can you be so naïve? To allow Igraine of all people to trick you out of your rightful crown. I am very upset with you my child, but all hope is not lost. I thought for sure Merlin would have put you to death. Instead you are given the perfect opportunity to cause a rift between the man and the boy. If you have not lost all sense you will see that I am right. I will be watching you Morgan. Do not disappoint me again. You will not like the consequences. I am not as naïve as those who harbor you of what you have done, what you are capable of.

Watch yourself my child.

The words, which once would have been comforting, did little to ease Morgan's mind. Sybil was angry. There was no denying that now. When Sybil grew angry Morgan had always suffered. Morgan did not doubt that the woman would let her stew for an undetermined about of time before she contacted her again once she had figured out what she could do to Morgan in punishment without being where Merlin could get to her. It was reassuring to have at least a little bit of her old self back however as the feelings of resentment toward Sybil seemed to creep back up with the relief. Sybil had been the only mother Morgan had ever known besides Igraine. Igraine's name brought a whole new list of thoughts to her mind. She vaguely remembered Merlin saying she had gone to Pendragon for a while. Morgan sat in her previously vacated spot with a giant sigh. Rereading Sybil's note, Morgan held it to her heart. Though the words were harsh, the action to come cruel, Morgan still wanted to believe that Sybil loved her. She was the only one who ever had shown her even an ounce of affection even if she was playing off Morgan's insecurities. Deciding to follow Sybil's orders Morgan stood with a new resolve in her step. She'd had thoughts of giving up all day, but now she had something to do. She wouldn't just sit in this room and wither away. She would cause the trouble she'd originally thought about. Arthur brought this on himself. Morgan reassured herself, rereading Sybil's note again before stashing it securely in the cleavage of her undergarment.

With her resolve back in tact Morgan shuffled her way to the wardrobe and chose a gown at random. White, how appropriate she thought with a smirk as she threw on the sleeveless gown. She ignored the chill that threatened her as she tore the hem off this gown as well. Morgan looked down at herself in disgust but she would make due. Removing the festering wound coverings with a small hiss of pain Morgan threw them into a corner. Perhaps it would lull Arthur into seeing her as surrendering in a white dress, she pondered bitterly before she pushed the door open. She knew everyone was probably asleep, but she felt that she needed to start reaffirming herself with the castle so not to be thrown off during her mission. The halls held the moon light in the same eerie fashion she noted as she moved down them silently. She let her fingers graze the cold stone and ivy as she passed, taking care to make her foot falls as silent as possible when she begun to notice several torches lit the further she went. She begun to notice she had wandered to the great hall when voices reached her first. However it was the heat that suddenly spread through her upper arm that made her pause. Glancing down startled Morgan felt a moment of pure doubt. She did not know where it came from, but in that second she didn't think about Sybil, but of herself. She suddenly wondered what she was doing. Did she really want this or was it simply something to do? She had no idea why the sudden heat brought such thoughts but she shook them off in anger when Merlin gave away her hiding place in the shadows.

"You are up late Morgan." He chuckled, turning toward the pillar she hid behind, causing her to flush before stepping into the light as if she had meant to be seen the entire time. Arthur, Kay, and Gawain turned their attention to her as well.

"The same could be said of you Merlin. I find the night air soothing, do you not?" Morgan asked, feeling very strange in the gaze of these men. She did not understand at all the feelings coursing through her, but she did her damn hardest to keep them from her face.

"Well I hadn't expected to see you for day's sister." Arthur told her, a bite still in his voice which both saddened and delighted Morgan. If he only knew the danger he was in, even still. That thought gave Morgan pause from biting off a quick retort. He was glaring at her, but not with complete loathing like she expected. The sudden desire to speak with him over came her. Sybil's note seemed to add to the heat over coming her, but this seemed to burn rather than sooth.

"No clever retort?" Gawain broke the silence and Morgan made a split decision. She needed to know why Arthur spared her life. All day she had thought about the boy, his decision, what hers should be. She had been beaten, but she suddenly came to the knowledge that it had been Sybil's game she was playing and not her own that she had been beaten at. Thinking got her in this trouble, her resolve to follow Sybil's orders blindly as she had always done waivered in that instant as Merlin's magic seemed to encase her in a level of comfort she had never known.

"Does this fade?" Morgan turned her attention to Merlin instead, not bothering to sensor her words as questioning glances followed hers taking in Merlin's small smirk.

"Would you like it to?" He teased back and Morgan had to use all of her will power to stay on her feet as he seemed to shoot a blast of heat through her. The feeling was pleasant beyond words, but Morgan grit her teeth against showing it.

"I want to talk to Arthur. Alone." Morgan growled out, not sure at all why she said it.

"Over my dead body." Kay stepped in front of his brother and Morgan resisted the urge to raise her eyebrow at him suggestively while Merlin seemed to back off whatever he was doing through his rune. The room fell into silence once again before Morgan couldn't help but clasp Merlin's rune on her upper arm with her opposite arm despite the power play it would seem they won with the gesture.

"It's okay." Arthur finally spoke, having never taken his eyes off Morgan.

"Arthur!" Both Kay and Gawain cried in both annoyance and warning only to be silenced with a wave that drew a smirk to Morgan's face. It was a very king like gesture. Just as Arthur had been sizing her up in the last minutes, she too had been taking him in. He seemed different than the boy who had broken when his mother was killed in front of him.

"Come now boys, I wouldn't hurt him. I couldn't even kill Igraine now could I?" Morgan chuckled as no one else seemed to find that funny. She saw Merlin's eyes flicker to her still healing wrists before he motioned Kay and Gawain out with him. Morgan met his gaze as he passed, not sure what she was doing, but feeling in the pit of her stomach that she needed to know something before she started back on the familiar path of Arthur's ruin. She had tried that so many times and failed that she wasn't sure anymore whether it was the correct path. She didn't know why she was thinking that way when she had been thinking something completely different in the hallway a moment ago, but Morgan had always been one to listen to her instincts. They had steered her wrong many many times, but she would not be convicted of ever denying herself.

"Well?" Arthur asked as Morgan continued to stare after Merlin. Morgan resisted the startled flinch she felt rise as he spoke and she realized that Merlin was why she was suddenly questioning herself. Taking a quiet breath Morgan lifted her eyes back to her half brother. She took several steps toward him, confident steps that caused him to shift Excalibur in his lap. A gesture she was proud of him for in a weird way. He wasn't naïve anymore, something that delighted her for some reason. She ought to be upset, it would take more to fool him, but she had always held mixed emotions about Arthur.

"I need to look into your eyes when you answer this question." Morgan replied, grabbing a chair harshly from next to him at the round table. She sat down, very unladylike but Morgan had been plagued with the question she was about to ask all day. If she cast Sybil aside, one thing had held her unwavering attention today. She didn't know why it mattered to her so much, why she was so irrational about this, but when she had thought it was all gone. When she had no shot at the crown that currently sat on the man in front of her, she had gotten to the root of fear.

"What question is that?" Arthur hissed back, Excalibur's point dangerously close to Morgan's stomach as he would not trust her for anything. Something she took in stride. No one had ever trusted her, and for good reason. Instead of asking what she desperately wanted to know however, Morgan leaned forward to place her chin on her hands, braced by her elbows on the arm rests of her chair and stared at Arthur. Morgan tried to see Uther in Arthur. She had never been in close enough proximity to Arthur to examine his face this way. Sybil had told her that Uther had to be Arthur's father since he was exactly like him, but in the fire light Morgan couldn't see it. She had avoided looking when he had dined with her. But here, where she expected to see Uther staring back at her cementing her opinion of Arthur and Sybil's plan, she saw Igraine. Not even his eyes betrayed that he was Uther's son.

"May I?" Morgan asked, knowing he would run her through if she just suddenly touched him. Arthur looked at her questioningly as she raised her hand to his cheek. He watched every inch she moved, as he should Morgan thought, but he let her touch him. That blew Morgan's mind. His skin was soft, almost unscarred from all she had put him through. He didn't even feel like Uther. Withdrawing her hand softly, somewhat fearing he would cut it off Morgan let out the breath she was holding and leaned back a little, unaware she'd moved that close to him. Letting her back hit the chair's Morgan continued to stare into Arthur's unwavering gaze.

"Why am I still alive Arthur?" She finally asked, fearing the answer but not taking her eyes away from his. Uther blinked when he lied. Igraine looked down and to the left. Merlin was the only man that could get away with a lie under her gaze. Morgan found her shoulders tense with each passing second that silence filled the room. She would have been insulted by an immediate answer, but this was torture. He didn't seem to know that his answer was going to determine everything, but then Morgan suspected he might as the minutes stretched by.

"I don't know. They all told me I should kill you. You have tried to kill me enough times. You would think it would be easy, but I can't kill you. I don't know why. If you wanted to hear that I can't kill you because you are my sister you are mistaken. I cast that title off you long ago. Something in my heart tells me not to kill you." Arthur replied, choosing his every word with slow clarity. Morgan felt something in her twitch. She did not know what to feel about his answer. She expected him to say that he needed her to get something done. To show the other kingdoms a united front or some bull shit. She never expected him to be so honest. And she knew he was telling the truth. Something about this changed something, but Morgan couldn't decide what it should be.

"You don't know anything about me Arthur. The things I've done to you are child's play." Morgan hissed, suddenly very angry. He didn't know? How could he not know? She had done nothing but evil, why the hell wouldn't he kill her? He should kill her! She was going to do more damage if he didn't…she would wouldn't she, she thought tearing her gaze away from his finally. That was really why she needed Arthur's answer. Sybil showing up had proven that she wouldn't be able to do anything but hurt people. Igraine had tried to help her as a child and she had hurt her over and over. Arthur had tried to be a brother, but she had let herself be manipulated into betraying him at every turn. She was only capable of harm. The nuns had taught her that. She couldn't believe she had let herself think she might be capable of anything else in the hours of the day she had spent alone.

"I killed Uther." Morgan confessed out of nowhere, a dark hope that he would strike her down where she sat then. Arthur for his part seemed startled by the words out of her mouth. It took him a moment to fully grasp what she had just said.

"What?" He growled, his anger fueling Morgan's resolve to correct his misjudgment. She was tired of hurting people. She didn't love anyone, she didn't know how to love, but she cared. Despite what anyone thought, she didn't get pleasure from causing true unhealing pain. It was why she had chosen to warn Arthur about the attack on his coronation.

"I killed Uther. I poisoned his stew." Morgan revealed again, her voice remaining smooth and unwavering despite the back of her mind screaming at her to stop. She wasn't going to be swayed, Arthur was going to kill her before this conversation was over or her whole life would mean nothing. She would have impacted no one of importance. She would have done nothing of true note unless she told them.

"Why?" Arthur growled, standing from his chair violently backing away from her.

"It doesn't matter. I killed every parent you have ever had. I tried to kill you. I failed. I've done more than you can even fathom. Don't believe me?" Morgan growled in anger. He was so fucking naïve still, she thought as she violently stood as well. Throwing herself into the magic without even a grimace at the pain she knew was about to come Morgan fell to her knees. Feeling her bones break caused the first scream to escape her lips. It was far from the last, which caused Merlin, Kay, and Gawain to come rushing back into the room. Each stopped in their tracks at the little girl that crawled to her feet using the round table.

"I snuck into his party. No one notices a child!" Morgan screamed, her eyes finding Merlin's. She was determined to die here. She was done; he could send whatever waves of heat he liked through her corpse.

"Morgan stop." Merlin growled back to her, taking a step toward her after he threw a glance to Arthur.

"Oh, you're still a naïve little boy aren't you!" Morgan screamed again falling to the floor in pain as her bones fractured and she screamed. Tears ran down her cheeks as she took Igraine's form.

"Worthless." She hissed with Igraine's voice before she started screaming again. There was no end to the agony Morgan subjected herself to as she took yet another form. Her second ever, the form of a young girl she'd once called friend before she'd accidentally killed her at the nunnery. It had been her first blood change. Blonde curls bounced from her skull as freckles seated themselves over her eight year old face.

"You are so naïve boy." Morgan growled through the sugary voice that flowed before she started screaming again. She almost begged for Arthur to end her, but she was determined to go out on her terms. She was going to get this puny boy to kill her, it was going to be the last thing she did. She would not go out as his prisoner, spending her days trying to trivially interrupt him at every turn. Blood began to leak from her eyes as her voice returned with her original form for a moment. The exhaustion almost overwhelmed Morgan, but she was determined. From her knees she would prove she was too dangerous to keep alive! But then she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders. Looking up into Merlin's gaze Morgan froze a moment. His fingers grazed her bare arms, causing warm spasms to overtake her.

"He's not going to kill you Morgan. No matter what you show him." Merlin coaxed and Morgan felt her sanity slip. Tears mingled with the blood leaking from her eyes already and she broke. She had sworn never to let one word slip from her lips but it came barreling out.

"Please…"She all but whimpered, seeking Merlin's sympathy. He didn't understand! She had nothing left! She needed it to be Arthur. She didn't want to do it anymore!

"No." Merlin whispered, his hand absently running through her hair to try to calm her. Gawain, Kay, and Arthur looked on with mixed emotions. Arthur's hand twitched on Excalibur until Morgan pleaded and he realized what he had been about to do. A sickening feeling began to develop in his stomach as he glanced at the bewildered faces of both Gawain and Kay. Arthur watched as Merlin and Morgan locked gazes for what seemed forever before anyone spoke.

"You don't understand. I don't want to do it anymore." Morgan whispered to Merlin, seeming to forget anyone else was in the room.

"Let me understand Morgan. You belong here." He whispered, blowing on his knuckles before her eyes, the runes drawn into his own skin gaining a meaningful blue tinge that only Morgan understood. He'd told her in a way, when he thought she was Igraine. Morgan understood what he was asking, but she didn't know how to give it to him, or even if she should. But his matching location rune, on the underside of his left wrist, was hitting hers and she couldn't even think straight. It was as if he was engulfing her. It had only been hours since he branded her with this rune and he had already turned her world upside down. It was as if he was a part of her now, his magic flowing through her freely. Morgan closed her tired eyes then, not caring anymore about dying or living, she just was. But then Sybil's letter began to burn her in an unpleasant way, the same pain as if her bones were breaking under it hit her and she cried out. Merlin looked on confused as Morgan let out a sob of pain. Kay, Gawain, and Arthur it seemed had been given enough time to at least suspend their feelings as they all bent to aid Merlin. Morgan could only look at Merlin and Arthur however, retrieving Sybil's note with a heavy heart and hand as the darkness threatened to consume her once again. She handed it to Merlin before her world went black.

"Why is it that she faints every time?" Kay managed to break some of the tension in the room after five minutes of solid silence from the trio.

(A/N Had the desire to write tonight and this was the result. I'm not real happy with it for some reason, but ugh might as well post it)


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